Lovely Birthday

I turned seventeen this week. Another reminder that I’m almost an adult, that college is just around the corner, and that I need to learn how to drive. Well, I’ll do it eventually. lol. Anyways, my birthday was pretty great. I had no real plan for what I wanted to do on my birthday, which ended up working out fine. It was relaxed and there was no pressure to be anywhere because I stayed home all day.

I went out for breakfast with my dad. We do this every year, and it’s always so fun. 🙂 I played lots of Destiny in the morning. I usually play for 30 minutes everyday, but I was allowed to play for as long as I wanted on my birthday. Destiny is a fun game. It’s the only first person shooter game that I’ve ever played, and it is literally the best game ever. I’ll probably talk about it again, because I’m sort of obsessed with it.

In the afternoon I let my siblings play Destiny, while I played the piano. I got The Theory of Everything piano book. I love it so much.  The soundtrack for that movie is beautiful <3. I played with my new phone as well, and took some pictures. I also played some more video games and watched an episode of Lost before dinner.

In the evening we all watched The Pixar Story; a documentery about how Pixar started and grew into what it is today. I loved it. I love Pixar and I love documenteries so there was no way I couldn’t enjoy The Pixar Story. We also ate cake and dinner (Subway) before playing Clue.

It was the best kind of birthday. I didn’t go anywhere or do anything, but it was relaxing and fun, and I got to spend it with my lovely family. ❤

 

My Brain is Full

macomputer

On February 11th, a mere 35 days away, I’m going to take the ACT. I ‘m going to take the test that will be sent to colleges that I might attend someday. It’s one step in a journey towards applying to college, which is a step towards BEING in college, which is a step towards graduating from college, which is a step towards… the rest of my life.

So yeah, it’s not a big deal.

I know that it’s just a test and that college doesn’t mean everything. I know that I don’t need college to live a great life, or even to have a successful career. Still, it’s a big step for me. It has a certain scent to it… it smells like… growing up. Growing up. I hate that phrase today. I wish I was either a little kid or already grown up. Growing up sounds… never-ending and not much fun.

The thing is…

like growing up. I like experiencing new things and being able to see things from a younger person’s perspective because I’ve been there. I like looking back on old memories and seeing how far I’ve come. I like the journey of childhood. I’m glad that mine has been (and is) one of love and learning. There’s never been a question too stupid to ask. There’s never been a wrong that hasn’t been righted in some way.

But I still hate growing up.

I just don’t like right now. Right now I have a lot (a few in reality) of decisions to make. Should I stay here (my hometown) for college or move away? Should I get my driver’s licence? Should I get a job? What job should I get? How do I prioritize all the things in my life? How do I keep up with everything going on and still maintain good relationships with my family, friends, and God?

I’m always thinking of new things to worry about and other things to add to my busy head, but it’s already so full that I can’t possibly add anything else. And I think it’s time to stop trying. I just need to sit tight, study hard, and worry about everything else (or most of “everything else”) after the test. 🙂

Even though I just said all that…

I really love where I am in my life. I love the ups and downs. I love the people and the learning. I love the journey. ❤

2017 Goals And Reminiscing 2016

I like New Year’s because I like thinking about the passage of time. Time is a funny thing. Sometimes a minute seems to stretch on forever and sometimes a day seems to last a minute. I like thinking about what time means to the human race. It holds us back and spurs us onward. We only have so much time on this earth. I think that’s why time is fascinating to me. It influences so many thoughts and decisions.

Every New Year’s I like to look back on the past 365 days and revisit the good days as well as the bad ones. I haven’t had many horrible days this year. I’ve had a lot of fun. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve grown so much since January 1, 2016 that it’s almost unbelievable. I wonder if there will come a time when I don’t grow over the course of a year. I don’t think so. Everyone has room for growth no matter how old they are.

Last year I grew up a lot. I grew up in the normal way of becoming more mature. I always love/hate to look back at my old journals, because what I say in them is proof that I have both grown a lot and that I used to think really stupid things. 🙂 Last year I thought a lot about growing up. I realized this year that I will be eighteen very soon. Thinking about becoming an adult, getting a job, getting a driver’s license, taking the ACT, and going to college has really become a large part of what I think about. I hate growing up sometimes and I used to hate thinking about those things, but now I’m used to thinking about those things and it’s not so bad.

Goals – 2017

I don’t like making New Year’s Resolutions, because I never keep them! I always forget that I’ve made them about three months into the year. But, you know, it’s tradition to make resolutions and so I’m going to try again. 😀

  1. Read fifty books
  2. Always have a Bible study plan for the month/read the Bible every day
  3. Watch all the Pixar movies (including the new ones)
  4. Less internet time
  5. Take the ACT
  6. Study up on colleges
  7. Get my temps
  8. Get a job… maybe??
  9. Remember:
    1. Patience
    2. Kindness
    3. Listening
    4. Authenticity

It’s quite a long list, but I think I can finish most of the items on it. The good thing is that I’m almost done with The Two Towers, so pretty soon I’ll only have forty-nine books to read this year. 😉

Happy New Year to everyone! I hope you all have a good year!

Dreams and Reality

The sun was rising in the clean, blue sky over the colorful hills behind my neighborhood. A very busy day was about to begin, but I wanted to take a moment to breathe. It was 65 degrees (Fahrenheit) outside, the sun was shining, and the colors of fall were about to fade. I took care to notice each different color on the leaves of the neighborhood trees, but I found the colorful hills in the distance far more alluring.

I wanted to go there. I wanted to throw off the tethers of what I was supposed to do and go on an adventure. Thinking about running across the bare cornfield and finding myself at the base of those hills made me tingle with longing. The only thing standing in my way was reality. Thinking about getting into the van and going to co-op for another day where I wouldn’t get much school done made me want to stay home, but I went because I had to.

My dreams are big and bold and beautiful to me. I love to imagine all their most intricate details and make up an alternate reality in my head. It’s easy to get lost in there.

Reality is clear-cut, but oddly uncertain, and a lot of work. It’s a lot of hard work, but  the rewards of working hard make up for it.

I wouldn’t want to live forever in my dreamland where nothing ever gets accomplished, but I don’t want to get so bogged down by reality that I have no dreams. I always want to have dreams, even when I’m old. It’s all a matter of weaving dreams into reality and trying to make them possible. I try to remember this when I’m thinking about my own dream of becoming a freelancing, tiny-houser on a farm. 🙂 It’s a big dream, but I’m always striving to make it possible.

Short Stories and Excitement

When I was looking forward to next week a while ago I decided that there was one thing I really wanted to do, write a short story. Then I found this article about writing a short story in a week which really encouraged me to go ahead and do it.

I’ve finished few short stories in my life, and all of them have taken longer than a week to write. I’m not sure if I’m capable of writing a short story in a week, but I really want to do something with my break. I don’t want to be sitting around on my butt doing nothing all week. I want to accomplish something.

Yeah, I don’t think I’m capable of taking a real break. I always like to keep my mind busy. 🙂

🙂 😀 XD I’m excited about next week. It is shaping up to be a great week. Next week I’m going to wander around the fair, gather up writing ideas, hang out with friends, and write a short story. AHHHHHHH!!! I am literally that excited.

Love,

Claire

The End of a Month (Day 30)

It is September 30. Tomorrow is October 1.

September has been a month full of growth, school, and introspection. I must admit, I’m usually introspective anyways, but this month I’ve had nothing to distract me from looking inwards. I’ve had nothing to influence my opinions and thoughts other than my own beliefs and the beliefs of the those around me.

It’s been interesting trying to divorce what I really believe from what I’ve just accepted as true. Critical thinking and thinking for myself have always been things that come naturally to me, but before this month I kind of let those things go to pot. 🙂 It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness life and let information, opinions, and issues pass us by because we have “other things to do.”

This month I’ve learned that there are a lot of things that I’m pretty ignorant about. To name a few: college, politics, and controversial issues. Being knowledgeable about the world around us is important, and in this age of information, when we are being constantly hit with stuff, it’s easy to forget that. It’s strange how my lack of information this month has caused me to hunger for it again. There is a difference between knowledge and information and I’m beginning to see what that is. Information are facts (or opinions) that are always being thrown around for anyone to pick up, but knowledge is being familiar with the information. It’s more than just, “I know what that is… sort of.” It’s the idea of being knowing it because you’ve made an effort to know about it. When I go into October, I need to remember the difference between knowledge and information.

I must admit, I haven’t upheld my no-internet ban perfectly. It has been hard, just like I said it would be. I’ve had slip ups, accidental and, well, not accidental. I know I didn’t uphold it perfectly, but I’m trying not to beat myself up about it, because tomorrow is a new month. I know I should have upheld the ban better. I know I could have avoided the internet more effectively. I know I cheated a few times. I know all of that, but I still feel good about what I’ve accomplished. I have to keep pressing on.

 

Day 30: What are your goals for the next 31 days? 

  1. Research – I’ve written down a few things over the past thirty days that I want to look into using that amazing tool, the internet. 🙂
  2. Enjoy my week-long break – I want this too include, strangely enough: cutting down on internet time, writing a short story, and hanging out with family.
  3. Look into Colleges: have started doing this a bit, but I want to keep it up this month.
  4. Remember to exercise – My exercise “routine” is easy to follow right now because it’s still pretty warm, but by the end of this month it won’t be.

This month was a crazy journey and I want to thank everyone who has followed me on it. Your support means the world to me. 🙂

Love,

Claire

Failing and Trying Again

There’s a rabbit in my backyard. He’s sitting at the top of the hill by the little lilac bush at the edge of the shadow made by the house. He’s bounded away now, across the yellowy grass and into the evergreen tree. I guess it it a nice morning. The sun is shining frequently between the bits of cloud in the blue sky. There’s a big pot of tea on the table in front of me and I’m listening to organ music.

Yeah, I guess it is a nice day.

I haven’t been writing lately, and I could blame that on a lot of things, but the truth is that I’ve been lazy. I haven’t felt like writing for a while now and the result is a lack of posts, even lazy ones. 🙂

Life has been busy. I started co-op last week, karate and youth group the week before. And on top of it all I have a mountain of schoolwork to do. Literally. However, I’m not going to consider that an excuse anymore, because the whole reason I started this blog was to write every day, and I haven’t been doing that.

I hate that I fail, try again, and fail again. It’s a useless cycle that doesn’t teach me anything except how much I fail. What else is there to do but try again? I don’t want to quit and never get anywhere, because maybe one day I won’t fail.

My Life in Seven Years

Day 16: Your Life in Seven Years

In seven years I’ll be 23. I’ll be out of college and probably living on my own. When I get out of college I plan to get a job somewhere. I’m not really sure where. I want to become a freelance editor, because then I’ll be able to pursue my dream of writing while doing something I enjoy. However, sometimes freelancing doesn’t pay very well. 😉 I might have to get a part-time job just to earn enough money.

That’s what I’d like to happen, but what I’d love to happen is a bit different. I’d love to travel the country as a freelance editor/writer for awhile before settling down somewhere. I don’t know if I’d actually have the guts to live somewhere other than my hometown, or near my hometown, but sometimes I think I would.

Ultimately, whatever happen in my life, I know that God is controlling it. He loves me and knows what’s best for me. I’d love to travel the country and the world; I’d love to be a freelance editor/writer, but if that isn’t in God’s plan for me then that’s okay. 🙂