Beautiful Days

During all of November I was inside writing drinking tea and writing. I didn’t realize then that my eyes were getting used to the dim light inside and that I only ever went outside in the early morning to let the dogs out. I went outside in the middle of the day on December first and my eyes actually hurt from all the light. And it was overcast!

Now that it’s December I feel that I can actually appreciate the beautiful weather. I mean, sure, it’s getting cold and windy, but the leaves are still bright orange. The funny thing about the tree in my front yard is that it’s leaves don’t change color until all the other trees have already turned brown. They’re so beautiful, all bright and happy even though everything else has turned brown. 🙂

After staring at a computer screen for so long it’s nice to finally step away from that and appreciate the beauty in the real world. The color of the leaves, the stark, greenness of the evergreen, and even the comforting grey of the sky is beautiful. I love to drive at night and see all the bright Christmas lights that light up the cold, dark of the night. I love being able to see Christmas trees in other people’s houses. 🙂 Ah, Christmas.

Dreams and Reality

The sun was rising in the clean, blue sky over the colorful hills behind my neighborhood. A very busy day was about to begin, but I wanted to take a moment to breathe. It was 65 degrees (Fahrenheit) outside, the sun was shining, and the colors of fall were about to fade. I took care to notice each different color on the leaves of the neighborhood trees, but I found the colorful hills in the distance far more alluring.

I wanted to go there. I wanted to throw off the tethers of what I was supposed to do and go on an adventure. Thinking about running across the bare cornfield and finding myself at the base of those hills made me tingle with longing. The only thing standing in my way was reality. Thinking about getting into the van and going to co-op for another day where I wouldn’t get much school done made me want to stay home, but I went because I had to.

My dreams are big and bold and beautiful to me. I love to imagine all their most intricate details and make up an alternate reality in my head. It’s easy to get lost in there.

Reality is clear-cut, but oddly uncertain, and a lot of work. It’s a lot of hard work, but  the rewards of working hard make up for it.

I wouldn’t want to live forever in my dreamland where nothing ever gets accomplished, but I don’t want to get so bogged down by reality that I have no dreams. I always want to have dreams, even when I’m old. It’s all a matter of weaving dreams into reality and trying to make them possible. I try to remember this when I’m thinking about my own dream of becoming a freelancing, tiny-houser on a farm. 🙂 It’s a big dream, but I’m always striving to make it possible.

Back to School

This week I’m getting back to school after a week-long break. Last week was full of fun and fair stuff. I enjoyed it even though it wasn’t what I expected it to be. This week the grind of school is back in my life. It’s time to settle down to long days of work.

I found it pretty hard to focus today, but that’s usual after a long break. I found myself falling asleep, drifting into daydreams, and taking much longer on tasks than I usually do. All I wanted to do today was go outside (because it was 80 degrees out) and read, but I was stuck inside doing schoolwork that I really didn’t feel like doing.

On Sunday, my teacher brought up an interesting point about school. We’re all given the teaching that we’re given for a reason. Nothing we learn is unimportant or not useful. My teacher has found that even the smallest, most inapplicable things from school have found their way into her life.

It helps me to sort of triumph over the hard things in school when I realize that everything I’m learning has a purpose in God’s eyes, even when I can’t see it. It’s funny because I recently thought that I shouldn’t do the Omnibus next year because I’m going to become a writer and all of the theological, philosophical, deep-thinking stuff couldn’t apply to that career. I realized yesterday that it can. Even though I’m not learning the craft of writing I have learned so much from the Omnibus that I’ve been able to improve my writing and my thinking in general.

Everything in life is so much more interconnected than I used to think. Every part of it touches another part and in that way it’s all joined together. It’s a web of ideas, knowledge, love, and difficulties. It’s interesting to see my view if the web widen. It’s so exciting to be alive and experience this wonderful world of God’s.

Why I Didn’t Finish My Story

I didn’t finish my short story and I’m not going to. Why?

  1. It hasn’t been a relaxing week like I thought. It has actually been a very busy, hard week. These past few days have tested my endurance and I’ve been really tired.
  2. My story idea is heavy and I just couldn’t write about it. There was something about the weight of my subject matter that defeated me. Every word was hard to write, because I couldn’t put myself in my main character’s shoes. I felt like every word had to fit because it wasn’t really coming from my heart.

Today is Saturday and I feel a little bit defeated. I really wanted to finish my story this week. I was really excited about my idea and about writing, but life happened and that’s okay. I’m glad I got to experience this week.

My fair week experience this year was unlike any other I’ve had before. I was at the fair nearly every day doing nothing. I wasn’t showing my animals, or doing anything for 4H, I was wandering around the fair with my sibling. It was fun, but tiring and underwhelming. I don’t belong to the 4H world anymore. I’m on the outside looking in.

Last week is over and while I’m not really looking forward to next week, I’m not dreading it either.

Outlining, Craziness, and the Fair

Ugh. I’m getting sick. I could feel it beginning yesterday and now it’s undeniable. A cup of lemon and honey tea should soothe my aching throat. 🍵

Yesterday was day one of the fair. I don’t have 4-H animals anymore, but somehow I managed to spend the whole entire day there. My mom works at the fair so it actually makes sense, but still. I love being at the fair. It’s interesting to see it in its different moods. From the peace and calm of early morning, to the craziness of  8pm-close, I’ve seen the fair throughout them all.

I walked around a lot yesterday, taking breaks to sit in the grand stands to read or write. We watched my friend show her chicken which won grand champion! It was a good time.

But…

Spending all day at the fair is not conducive to getting  a lot of writing done. Yesterday was also day one of “Write a Short Story in a Week.” I had to get to know the characters and write an outline. Ugh. This didn’t go too well. With all of the craziness and the people I couldn’t get much done. I can’t focus in a big crowd of people.

However, I did finish my outline and got to know my main character. That’s going to have to be good enough because today I’m going to start writing it. Hopefully I get something done when I go to the fair, but I don’t have much hope. I’ll just have to get as much done as possible before I leave.

I’m a bit worried about writing my story to be honest. I’m having all these doubts; my idea is stupid, my idea is too big, I won’t be able to finish it in time, etc. Writing a first draft is fun… sometimes. Sometimes it’s nerve-wracking and I’m afraid that I’m messing up the whole thing.

In Closing…

I’m excited that the fair is finally here. I love the crazy atmosphere and the fair people. I also can’t wait to write my story. I think it will be a good one. 🙂

Claire 

Short Stories and Excitement

When I was looking forward to next week a while ago I decided that there was one thing I really wanted to do, write a short story. Then I found this article about writing a short story in a week which really encouraged me to go ahead and do it.

I’ve finished few short stories in my life, and all of them have taken longer than a week to write. I’m not sure if I’m capable of writing a short story in a week, but I really want to do something with my break. I don’t want to be sitting around on my butt doing nothing all week. I want to accomplish something.

Yeah, I don’t think I’m capable of taking a real break. I always like to keep my mind busy. 🙂

🙂 😀 XD I’m excited about next week. It is shaping up to be a great week. Next week I’m going to wander around the fair, gather up writing ideas, hang out with friends, and write a short story. AHHHHHHH!!! I am literally that excited.

Love,

Claire

Much To Be Excited About

Day 13: What are you excited about? 

Right now, it’s the middle of September, I have four weeks of school behind me and thirty-two (or so) weeks ahead. I look forward to when I leave the house for any reason because I’m here so much, but I really don’t have much to be excited for. There is one thing that I’m really looking forward to, the second week of October, because I am taking it off completely from school.

Let me explain, every six (or seven) weeks my whole family takes a week-long break from school. We just started this schedule this school year and I’m looking forward to getting breaks. At first, I wasn’t so sure I’d like it. I love school and taking week-long breaks means that I will be finishing school later in the year, but I think it’s worth it.

I have begun to fantasize about the break, coming up with many plans for what to do. Here are a few of them:

  • READ A LOT!!
  • Write a short story
  • Write the first few chapters of a novel
  • Do a bunch of random writing exercises
  • Research all of the things that I’ve been meaning to research
  • Go to the county fair

Obviously, I won’t be able to do all of them, but having too many ideas is a better then not having enough. 🙂 I really want to focus on writing, even if all that means is doing little writing exercises every day. I also want to use the break time for relaxation and meditation.

Breaks are a good thing. I think I’ve finally started to understand that. 🙂

~ Claire 

A Beautiful Song/ Plans

Today I got to stay home by myself for a little while (yay!). I’m also trying to prepare myself for a whole month devoid of the internet by listening to lots of music on YouTube, especially this song by Dodie Clark called 6/10. It’s about social anxiety. I really relate to it and it’s beautiful song. 🙂

I have two plans for next month and one of them I haven’t revealed yet (mwahaha), but don’t worry I’m about to. Next month I’m going to do a 30-day writing challenge for my blog (suggested by Alexandria).I’m really excited about it, because it will give me something to write about every day!

That is all for now. See you in September!

Claire

“Fallish” Things

School is back in my life again and with it comes schedules, a quiet house, and a lot of learning. I won’t complain, because I love school dearly. It’s always been a friend to me. Of course, with school comes autumn and chilly weather. I couldn’t have imagined autumn two weeks ago, in that dreadfully humid weather, but now I can. On Sunday morning I was pleasantly surprised to find that the air smelled like autumn. It wasn’t cool and dry, but was faintly spicy. Yes, autumn is coming. I shall miss the warm weather and yes, the humidity as well, but I am looking forward to “fallish” things:

  • Colorful leaves
  • cooler weather
  • apple picking
  • more school 🙂
  • youth group

Ahhh… yes, autumn is a pleasant season. School has returned, cooler days are coming, and the world keeps spinning around. Glorious world, beautiful life! I can’t believe that I am living, right now, in this beautiful place. 🙂