The End of a Month (Day 30)

It is September 30. Tomorrow is October 1.

September has been a month full of growth, school, and introspection. I must admit, I’m usually introspective anyways, but this month I’ve had nothing to distract me from looking inwards. I’ve had nothing to influence my opinions and thoughts other than my own beliefs and the beliefs of the those around me.

It’s been interesting trying to divorce what I really believe from what I’ve just accepted as true. Critical thinking and thinking for myself have always been things that come naturally to me, but before this month I kind of let those things go to pot. 🙂 It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness life and let information, opinions, and issues pass us by because we have “other things to do.”

This month I’ve learned that there are a lot of things that I’m pretty ignorant about. To name a few: college, politics, and controversial issues. Being knowledgeable about the world around us is important, and in this age of information, when we are being constantly hit with stuff, it’s easy to forget that. It’s strange how my lack of information this month has caused me to hunger for it again. There is a difference between knowledge and information and I’m beginning to see what that is. Information are facts (or opinions) that are always being thrown around for anyone to pick up, but knowledge is being familiar with the information. It’s more than just, “I know what that is… sort of.” It’s the idea of being knowing it because you’ve made an effort to know about it. When I go into October, I need to remember the difference between knowledge and information.

I must admit, I haven’t upheld my no-internet ban perfectly. It has been hard, just like I said it would be. I’ve had slip ups, accidental and, well, not accidental. I know I didn’t uphold it perfectly, but I’m trying not to beat myself up about it, because tomorrow is a new month. I know I should have upheld the ban better. I know I could have avoided the internet more effectively. I know I cheated a few times. I know all of that, but I still feel good about what I’ve accomplished. I have to keep pressing on.

 

Day 30: What are your goals for the next 31 days? 

  1. Research – I’ve written down a few things over the past thirty days that I want to look into using that amazing tool, the internet. 🙂
  2. Enjoy my week-long break – I want this too include, strangely enough: cutting down on internet time, writing a short story, and hanging out with family.
  3. Look into Colleges: have started doing this a bit, but I want to keep it up this month.
  4. Remember to exercise – My exercise “routine” is easy to follow right now because it’s still pretty warm, but by the end of this month it won’t be.

This month was a crazy journey and I want to thank everyone who has followed me on it. Your support means the world to me. 🙂

Love,

Claire

One Thing For Today

Today I was thinking about my life while standing in a big room filled with young children and kids my own age. I looked around at those people I’ve known for so long and I thought, “Someday this won’t be the present. Someday we’ll all go our separate ways, but we’ll all be changed and influenced by each other.”

As I thought about it more, I realised just how much I’ve loved growing up with the people I have. It’s been a privilege to know them, even when they get on my nerves and drive me crazy; I love them like family. 😊 
Things I’ve been doing lately: ⚽ 📖📖📖 🎹🎶📝😵 

An Interesting Word

I love words, and today I found an interesting one. The word is albatross. This word has two meanings. It can be a large, white ocean bird with long wing, or a heavy burden.

Albatross

:a large white ocean bird that has very long wings

or

: a continuing problem that makes it difficult or impossible to do or achieve something

A Note on Words:

I haven’t been doing a lot of creative writing lately because of school and my other activities, but I am still editing my story Safe Memories which I hope to get published in a literary magazine soon. Ugh. Writing consistently is hard work. 😛

Improving and Goals

Day 26: Write about an area of your life that you’d like to improve

Patience 

I’ve never been a patient person, at least not with other people. I’m patient when it comes to waiting, reading long books, and things like that, but people are a different matter. I’m not predisposed to be patient towards people who annoy me, want explanations for everything I do, and/or who are always pointing out what’s wrong with me.

In the past I’ve let this anger and lack of self-control go unchecked, but recently I’ve decided to change. I don’t like being angry and impatient, because it spoils my and other’s day and it’s wrong. I want to be a patient person now, because changing isn’t going to get any easier as I grow older. In fact, it just might get harder. I want to be full of self-control and loving kindness that doesn’t just show itself on good days to non-annoying people, but also on bad days to annoying people.

I’ve tried to be more patient in the past, but always on my own which, not surprisingly, hasn’t worked well at all. I’ve failed every time I try. Now, I may fail sometimes, but I know I can become more patient, because I’m trusting in God to lead me to change. Now that I’ve grown up a bit I know what that statement entails. It means that I know that only God can change me, but that change can only occur when I willingly let him change me, and participate in that change. I can’t change if I don’t try because God has given me free will. So it is two things working together towards a common goal, my trying to change and God leading me to change.

There are many other things that I wish to change in my life. I want to be more dependable and hold my tongue more often, but these changes can’t all happen at once. They will come in due course of time.

I also have a few goals for the following week:

  • Finish The Fellowship of the Ring
  • Watch The Fellowship of the Ring
  • Stay on schedule for school/catch up
  • Practice piano thoroughly every day
  • Be real every day
  • Practice patience
  • DON’T USE THE INTERNET

I’ve almost made it to the end of September and, though I’ve stumbled a few times, my internet “fast” has worked out pretty well.

Farewell,

Claire

Concerning Hobbits and Beautiful Music 

I write about music a lot because it’s an important part of my life. I don’t know what I would do if music was ever gone from my life forever. I guess I could live, but I think I would always be coming up with melodies of my own and listening to songs that I’ve memorized in my head. 

I love all kinds of music, and classical music is no exception. I just started to really delve into classical music over the past few days, starting with the Baroque period. I’ve been listing to Bach as well as an old Italian opera. 👌 Good stuff. The opera (L’Orfeo by Claudio Monteverdi) is very medieval feeling and I love Bach, especially his piano works. 

In addition to classical music, I’ve been listening to The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack as I read the book. I love LOTR, and I have since I was young. Whenever I listen to the track Concerning Hobbits I feel a bit emotional. The music is nostalgia ridden and carries a certain weight to it even though it’s a happy song. A lot of the songs on the soundtrack are like that. They have a certain weight to them that makes them feel old, like they are really from Middle Earth. Like the songs themselves come from the Shire, Rivendell, and Minas Tirith. Like the songs have always existed as long as the tales of Middle Earth have existed. 💕 

Yes, I am a bit dramatic, but these thoughts have run through my head before. 

Failing and Trying Again

There’s a rabbit in my backyard. He’s sitting at the top of the hill by the little lilac bush at the edge of the shadow made by the house. He’s bounded away now, across the yellowy grass and into the evergreen tree. I guess it it a nice morning. The sun is shining frequently between the bits of cloud in the blue sky. There’s a big pot of tea on the table in front of me and I’m listening to organ music.

Yeah, I guess it is a nice day.

I haven’t been writing lately, and I could blame that on a lot of things, but the truth is that I’ve been lazy. I haven’t felt like writing for a while now and the result is a lack of posts, even lazy ones. 🙂

Life has been busy. I started co-op last week, karate and youth group the week before. And on top of it all I have a mountain of schoolwork to do. Literally. However, I’m not going to consider that an excuse anymore, because the whole reason I started this blog was to write every day, and I haven’t been doing that.

I hate that I fail, try again, and fail again. It’s a useless cycle that doesn’t teach me anything except how much I fail. What else is there to do but try again? I don’t want to quit and never get anywhere, because maybe one day I won’t fail.

Slight Fail…and a Cult

I slightly failed at upholding my no-internet ban today. However, I only broke it because I had to use the internet for school. I was looking into the pros and cons of homeschooling when I suddenly stumbled across the world of ATI (Advanced Training Institute). I’ve been reading about people’s stories and their experiences in the cult-like setting of ATI. It’s been very interesting and has helped me to better see why some people are against homeschooling, but I suppose it was also breaking my no-internet ban. 😦 Oh well, it was only a slight fail after all. I don’t think I’ll worry about it too much. 🙂

Five Fears

Day 19: List five fears that you have 

  1. Being buried alive
  2. Disappointing others
  3. A loss of hope
  4. Losing my family
  5. Being trapped in a bad situation

The thing about number 3 is that I know it could never truly happen, because I will always have my eternal home to hope in. Yet, I still worry about losing hope. Hope is what sets a meaningful life apart from a meaningless one.

30 Things

Day 18: 30 Things about Yourself 

  1. I am frequently confused
  2. I am always learning
  3. I am sometimes a loud-mouth
  4. I am a Christian
  5. I love stories of all kinds
  6. Writing is my passion, but I’m lazy at it
  7. I have always liked my name (Claire)
  8. I’m not good at admitting that I’m wrong
  9. I don’t like apologizing (trying to get better at it though)
  10. I love wearing long skirts and dresses
  11. Music is important to me
  12. I love quoting things (tv shows, movies, music, books…)
  13. I love imaginary worlds
  14. Idiosyncrasies fascinate me
  15. I like to think of myself as humble, but usually it’s just self-deprecation
  16. People and their lives fascinate me
  17. The future is exciting and makes me feel calm and frightened at the same time
  18. I am not afraid of most bugs
  19. I am afraid of my dark side
  20. I am an INFP
  21. I love old books
  22. Nostalgia is my favorite mood
  23. I like accordion music
  24. I like shivering over delightful things
  25. I am a tea-drinker
  26. I love new books
  27. I hoard notebooks
  28. I am an ukulele player
  29. I don’t like talking to strangers
  30. I love the life I’ve been given