Today I got to stay home by myself for a little while (yay!). I’m also trying to prepare myself for a whole month devoid of the internet by listening to lots of music on YouTube, especially this song by Dodie Clark called 6/10. It’s about social anxiety. I really relate to it and it’s beautiful song. 🙂
I have two plans for next month and one of them I haven’t revealed yet (mwahaha), but don’t worry I’m about to. Next month I’m going to do a 30-day writing challenge for my blog (suggested by Alexandria).I’m really excited about it, because it will give me something to write about every day!
That is all for now. See you in September!
I’m trying to be real, honest with myself and with others, and this quote reminds me of it.
Why don’t you come right out and say it? Even though the words are probably gonna hurt, I’d rather have the truth than something insincere.
Peace, ✌ have a good evening everyone,
Another break? Yes, another break indeed. This time from something that takes up a great deal of my time. I guess that’s one reason I’m going to take a break from the internet, but not the only reason. Before I go any further, I want to list out my rules.
- I AM going to use the internet for school
- I AM going to use the internet to write my blog posts and keep up with Kelli’s blog
- I AM NOT going to use the internet to watch any YouTube… at all
- I AM NOT going to use the internet to read articles about MBTI (Myer-Briggs Type Indicator), or anything else that I do for fun
The main reason I want to take a break from the internet is because I feel more and more that I don’t form my own opinions about things. I always say that I think for myself, but sometimes I’m too lazy too. Life moves quickly and sometimes it’s easier not to think. I know that there’s nothing wrong with hearing other people’s opinions about things; that can be quite a good thing. The problem is that I begin to take everything they believe and apply it to myself. It doesn’t even matter who the person is. I begin to think more and more like them.
This is where a feeling of fakeness creeps in. Sometimes I feel like I’m not real with anybody. I put on a front of being bubbly, prideful, and (to me) obnoxious. I have to focus hard on being real with others, or else I’ll stay in the background as the girl who talks a lot but never says anything.
This month (September, actually) I want to focus on being more real and vulnerable around my friends and family. I want them to see me for who I really am, on the inside underneath my shell. 🙂
So, for a month (beginning on September 1st) I am going to quit the internet. Ugh. It’s not going to be easy.
Buona notte miei amici (Good night my friends),
Air For Free… I can’t stop listening to it. 🙂 It’s a most amazing album. There is one song, however, that I don’t listen to as often as the rest. This is mostly because I’ve been trying to listen to the whole album every time I listen to the album, this means that I rarely listen to the album all the way through. This also means that I’ve only listened to the last song, Heartache a handful of times. Yesterday I listened to it, and now I can’t stop. 🙂
I can’t name all the times this has happened. I listen to one Relient K and listen to it on repeat for days.
Anyways, I love the message in the song, the feel of the song, and the fact that it’s the last song. The song is about finding your own way, letting go of heartache, finding beauty in the world, and love. It’s a lovely song.
Up and at ’em
Bright as the start of a brand new day
There’s a magic to it, never let it go
Up and at ’em
It’s the time when you awake
Something holy to it only you could know
This is probably my favorite quote, simply because I’m always up early. 🙂 It really resonates with me.
No, I’m never gonna lose my beat
I take it easy on the weak of heart
I hear you telling me not to speak
So here comes the quiet part
Maybe I never solved the mystery
Is it always gonna have to be so hard?
If I only ever drag my feet
I guess I’ll never get too far
I love this! I especially love, “If I only ever drag my feet I guess I’ll never get too far.” To me this means always being ready to listen to what God is saying, and taking whatever life throws at you. If we accept that life is full of change then we’ll go far.
Relient K, you have taught me so much over the past few months. Thanks. 🙂
School makes me tired. Ugh. I love it, but it’s hard. I spend all my time on it and then at the end of the day o crash. It’s funny how siting around all day can wear you out.
In other news, I cut my hair. It used to reach almost to my waist, now it’s a chin-length bob. I love it!!! It’s so light and easy to take care of. None of my friends have seen it yet, and while I hope they like it I’m trying not to worry too much about it. I love my hair and that’s all that really matters. 😊
Well, I’m off to Pinterest for short hair styling tips. ☺
How I wish I felt right now…
How I actually feel…
It’s not that, exactly, but really it is. I’m feeling tired and rather lonely without knowing why. I guess I don’t really want to investigate my mind and figure out why. That is all, and yes, I’m being rather lazy by not writing a real post.
Sometimes I think. Sometimes I have thoughts. Today my thought is this: The future is scary. By scary, I mean terrifying. When I think about the future and everything that inevitably comes with it… I begin to sink deep into thought. Then I find myself, much later, sitting in near darkness on my bed, still thinking. It’s an endless cycle sometimes. Thinking about the same, useless things. Things I can’t control, or even scarier, things I can control.
I hate making decisions. I hate choosing. I hate thinking that maybe the choice I made was wrong. I’m scared to live my life that way. Yet, I still live this way. In indecision I tread on. Oh, the future. It’s full of choices. Which college to go, who to date, who to be friends with, what job to take. These practical questions are hard enough to answer, but to think of choosing to end a relationship, or to leave home forever, to stand up to cruelty, and defend the defenceless. These choices are so much harder.
Maybe someday. Maybe. I’ll be better at making decisions, and making the right ones.
School is back in my life again and with it comes schedules, a quiet house, and a lot of learning. I won’t complain, because I love school dearly. It’s always been a friend to me. Of course, with school comes autumn and chilly weather. I couldn’t have imagined autumn two weeks ago, in that dreadfully humid weather, but now I can. On Sunday morning I was pleasantly surprised to find that the air smelled like autumn. It wasn’t cool and dry, but was faintly spicy. Yes, autumn is coming. I shall miss the warm weather and yes, the humidity as well, but I am looking forward to “fallish” things:
- Colorful leaves
- cooler weather
- apple picking
- more school 🙂
- youth group
Ahhh… yes, autumn is a pleasant season. School has returned, cooler days are coming, and the world keeps spinning around. Glorious world, beautiful life! I can’t believe that I am living, right now, in this beautiful place. 🙂
Today, I went mini-golfing with my family. We were out of the house all day, because my mom had lots of school preparation to get done. Therefore, my dad took us all out for a day of shopping and mini golf.
I’m really tired now, but it’s been well worth it. Today, everything revolved around fun, not work. It was a change that I welcomed wholeheartedly.